i feel numb
what do you want me to do im trying but you’re not
obviously im going to be more stressed now more than ever. you should understand that and even if i strop you should be there for me and try to make me feel better. whats the point
so i threw up
so what
normally STRESSED = talk to you and you make it better
STRESSED because of you/you’re being arsey with me = turn to what used to make me feel better
if you’re not there im obviously going to turn to what used to help me through stressful things
you’re mad at me
i dont care
im not even mad at myself. im passed caring. i just want to crawl into a hole and die. what is the point. i try but you dont give it back. do you even want this.
dont bring things up from an argument we already had, when apparently thats my downfall, and EVEN that bad you would ‘POSTPONE’ proposing to me because its not PERFECT enough. ahahahaha.
whats the point
point point point.
why am i trying
i am so stressed i want to carve my skin off with a pencil
do you not understand that
or do you not care. am i supposed to pretend im okay so you feel better.
im tired of pretending i dont care
i do care and you know I do
but you ignore it
sorry
sorry sorry sorry
thats all you say and i hate it because im sorry too
but you need to say more
do more
you’re my everything and i was your thing
i feel stupid for thinking you felt the way i did
crying at night confused
in love
confused
i told you and you did nothing
ok
ok
you probably laughed about it
i couldnt get passed her
did you ever truly want me?
i tried
i came to see you
kissed
touched
tried
i told you
but nothing
but her, oh you told me all about her.
you liked showing the world her
pictures,pictures, pictures
you wanted her
i was there. background. waiting. no
were you proud of her, did you like “seeing” her whilst pretending you loved me.
fuck
did you like fucking her
did you like telling me about her
every
single
detail.
did you like pretending what we had was special
whilst chasing her.
wanting her and having her and forgetting me.
you say its because i left you but she was there before then
when you like someone, you said
you show it by not fucking around with other people.
so you never liked me
you was fucking
around
with her. i dont give a fuck about her, im glad you found someone so special.
but you
fuck you
fuck you for making me fall for you
fuck you for making me feel like i mattered
and then throwing it all away.
fuck you for hating me
for being bitter now
what did you expect?
“The sex drive is the most important and powerful behavior in mankind.”
-Richard Ramirez.
(Source: mrsaxlrose98)
